Clear signs he is simply toying with you
AFTER a period of being together — cohabiting, sharing financial responsibilities, even making children and having happy memories, naturally you may begin to wonder when he will make the final commitment. But the truth is, some men never will. They will never be interested in making you their official partner for life. They will always keep their options open, and you may have been too caught up in the chemistry to notice this.
Relationship counsellor Wayne Powell has created a list of red flags that could save you years of investing in someone who doesn’t intend to make you his “happily ever after”:
1. He is prepared to make you his child’s mother, but not his life partner.
Yes, he is happy that you are able to make beautiful offspring together, but he has never suggested that he wants to make a family with you. He doesn’t suggest living together or even shows interest in anything but the arrangement that you now have — one in which you serve his interest of caring for his children and him without any form of real commitment to you.
2. He never commits when you mention settling down
You mention settling down, doing things as a couple — for example getting a home, looking at your financial records and actually planning a future together, but he never seems interested in that kind of talk. He tends to change the subject or suggest that he will one day talk about it, but that day never comes.
3. He is never eager to meet your parents or siblings
He doesn’t want to meet your family members. That’s because he doesn’t want to have any real ties to you, and he doesn’t want a group of five or ten people making him feel guilty or crying shame when he does what he always intended to do — leave and find a trophy wife and move on to his next victim.
4. He takes you out at night only, and would rather get the meals via the drive-thru or delivery than go sit in a restaurant
He clearly has no intention of being seen with you in public and does everything to avoid this ever happening, and if he decides to take a chance, he does it at night. He is also less inclined to take you to places where there may be a crowd or where he might run into people he knows. So his decisions to take you out of town may not be so romantic after all.
5. He insists that he must get a house before settling down
He insists that he will only settle down when he has his own house. Some men who know the women would offer to help with the purchase or the mortgage often counter that offer with the argument that they want to be the ones to give their family a home.
6. He secretly makes and takes calls/texts when you are asleep or absent
He has womanising tendencies. As soon as you turn your back he is on his phone whispering, and he takes calls in the bathroom while you’re asleep. He never wants to spend the night, or wants to leave early in the morning because he has early meetings. This happens for as long as you are with him, and his excuse is always work or some family emergency.
7. When you have an emergency and you call for help, it may take him a while to get to you
When you need his support, for example, you have had an accident and you call him, he sometimes explores other options of solving the problem without having to be personally involved, or even be there for you. You are simply never his priority.
8. He has been separated for a while, but won’t push for a divorce
He is separated from his wife and staying with you, and even though he says that he has no intention of fixing things with his wife, he won’t push for a divorce so that you can start off with a clean slate.
