Why I hate my ex
WHETHER the break-up is fresh or happened two decades ago, resentment caused by acts of betrayal can carve wounds so deep that they may never fully heal. And while it can be difficult to imagine how one moment you can be head over heels in love with someone, then consumed by revulsion for them the next, the old adage “There is a thin line between love and hate” sums it up.
All Woman asked readers who feel wronged to the point of hatred for their exes to explain why their resentment runs so deep.
Pamella, 51, banker:
Above everything else, he was a liar – a pathological liar. He was a cheater – manipulative and mentally, physically and emotionally abusive. Second to his lying tendencies was his failure to live up to his responsibilities as the head of the family. The Bible says that the man who does not provide for his family is worse than an infidel, and my ex lived up to this in more ways than one. Sometimes I don’t know if what I feel for him is hatred or pity.
Ammoy, 32, loan officer:
I hate him because he took advantage of me while I was unwell. He misused my financial resources because I gave him access to my accounts at a time when I was too ill to manage them myself. Being with someone for four years, you would think that you know them and that they would have your best interests at heart, but my experience was the complete opposite of that. Moving on has been difficult for me where trust is concerned. It is no longer possible to trust a new partner, because I have been swindled by someone I once would have done anything in the world for.
Georgette, 29, pre-school teacher:
I despise my ex deeply for secretly recording us having sex and blackmailing me for close to three years. He showed it to his close friends and discussed other private aspects of our intimate life with people in the community because he wanted to paint an ugly picture of me. When that didn’t work he stalked me and I had to move because my job was being threatened. I was able to escape his clutches, but I have not recovered from the experience. Hopefully, one day I will.
Gregory, 30, police officer:
She left my child in the hospital and went away with some guy she met at the hotel where she worked as a hostess. Our child suffers from a heart condition and really needs our support, so the least she could have done was to leave a note. It wasn’t until three days into my search that the hospital called my phone and I found my baby. About eight months after she left she tried to make contact, but in all honesty I don’t see myself even looking at her again. The best thing that she has done is to keep away from us, and I hope it remains that way.
Mikayla, 28, receptionist:
I remember the days when he had nothing and I made sacrifices to help him. I clothed him when people laughed at what he wore, supported him even though his career was stagnant. I helped him with school and was patient with him even though he was less than adequate in the bedroom department. Then the army happened, and like a chameleon, he changed before my very eyes into someone totally unrecognisable. Soon I was “not hot enough, didn’t have enough time, and didn’t understand him”. In essence, I couldn’t do anything right in his eyes because I did not fit his concept of a trophy wife. However, that’s just fine with me, because I know I deserve more than a shallow man.
