Cassandra Shannon – Abused but unbowed
CASSANDRA Shannon, 44, describes herself as a strong woman who uses her experiences of overcoming abuse to motivate and inspire other women to do the same.
Born and bred in Kingston, Shannon grew up off Lyndhurst Road and lived a humble life devoid of the comforts that a child should enjoy. In addition to the tough financial challenges she faced, Shannon was subjected to physical and emotional abuse and lived in fear for most of her upbringing.
“My father was a soldier who thought discipline was ‘lick dung’ first, then maybe ask a question after. So I was fearful. I attended Holy Childhood High, and it took some time to get home by bus. Most evenings I’d have to walk home, and if I didn’t get there within 30 minutes after school ended, I was beaten. My dad was stationed in Moneague, and whenever he was coming home I had a very uneasy feeling. If I heard the van come around the corner and I was washing a glass or a plate, it would just [drop and] break because of how he drove fear into our hearts. He used to beat us a lot, even my mother too. But I got it more, so eventually I became rebellious,” she said.
Shannon’s breaking point came after one particular beating by her father, and after that incident she ran away from home, neglected doing her CXC subjects, and lived on the streets for one year and three months.
Her father allowed her to return home when she got pregnant at 17, but history began to repeat itself. After the birth of her second child, she went to live with the child’s father.
Life was good for the first six months of the relationship, and then Shannon was punched in the face.
“I exchanged Daddy for this man. Here I was in another abusive situation, and this continued for years,” she revealed. “People may wonder why I didn’t leave, but I grew up in a situation where I was told no man wanted me, and that man ago tek me tun football. I was yearning for acceptance, so I felt I needed to try harder and do better to make the relationship work.”
But Shannon said that nothing changed until her now ex-husband decided he wanted to become a Christian, and they agreed to tie the knot.
“I thought things would work out. Things quieted down for a while until I got pregnant again and we moved house. I wasn’t working, rent was higher, my first child was going to a prep school, so all the expenses fell on the father. When the stress got too much, the abuse started again,” she said.
Marital counselling sessions did not help, as every recommendation by the counsellors was quickly shot down by her ex.
Eventually Shannon tried to regain control of her life. She started to attend the gym and actually enrolled in school; however, things at home went from bad to worse. She was often locked out of her room when her spiteful ex-husband could not get his way.
And during a period of separation, Shannon recalls that he raped her in an attempt to impregnate her so she would be forced to stay in the relationship.
But during that time, Shannon began exploring how she could use her experiences as a stepping stone and a motivational tool for individuals whose lives were falling apart. She decided to start her company — Image Vanguard — now known as Missing Link, while marketing herself as a motivational speaker.
Now divorced and certified in training individuals for personal development, Shannon’s self-funded company does just that, and focuses on behavioural modification and soft skills for professionals.
She champions the cause of women and men who’ve been abused, and encourages victims to speak out and not be ashamed.
“My personal motto is ‘live to learn’. You might have had a bad experience, but there’s always something you can take from it. We have a culture where we’re silent on many issues, and victims are often blamed. We love to say children are ‘force ripe’ if they are sexually abused; if a woman is beaten we tend to ask ‘what did you do?’ and in church we are afraid to talk about it. I spoke about my experiences openly, and nothing happened. It’s time we tear down these walls and put a stop to the stigma. I want women and men to feel safe and comfortable talking about their situation and to stop hiding what is happening,” she declared.
And so, come September, Shannon, who can be contacted at cshannon.missinglink@gmail.com, intends to have an event called ‘Testify’, where women and men from all walks of life can come and ventilate their issues.
“It will happen in an interactive format and we’ll have facilitators doing background work and following up with these people when they leave. We’re seeking to partner with counsellors, skilled workers and individuals who can offer safe houses for people who may be in situations where they need to leave quickly,” she stated.
