When it’s time to move on from someone you love
IT is said that the best way to shift your focus and move on from someone you love is to channel your passions and feelings into something else that you also care for deeply.
But for those who suffer the pangs of unrequited love, it may take a series of rejections before they develop the courage to walk away.
Sometimes those we love are toxic for us, and our lives will not improve until we sever the connections. But how can you overcome your obsession with your partner and find the will to move on?
According to relationship counsellor Wayne Powell, we often wonder why seemingly intelligent, educated and well-balanced individuals remain in unfavourable situations, with no apparent concept of how to walk away.
But he explained that usually the innate need for love and emotional attachment overrides logic, which means that the heart (emotion) rules and dominates the head (intellect).
There will come a time, however, when rational people begin to realise that it’s time to let go. They may not know when to actually move on, even as they continue to torture themselves for not taking decisive action.
Powell suggests that you first ask yourself if what you have is really love. Do you feel dishonoured by your partner? Are their actions self-centred?
“Love, as the Good Book says, does not dishonour others, nor is it self-seeking. Walking away won’t be easy, but like everything else, it will pass. Making a clean break won’t hurt you,” he said, adding: “Try not to attribute 100 per cent of the failure of the relationship to yourself alone.”
And when you get to this level, Powell says it’s important not to berate the individual you’re walking away from.
“Try to go high. You are not obliged to reveal your personal details to anyone,” he said.
Powell added that you should also take the break-up in stride, and give yourself time to heal. It would be helpful at this time to involve yourself in a worthwhile project.
“Wait a while before you move into another relationship. And as the song says, ‘Don’t worry, be happy.’ Some things are blessings in disguise. Try to work on your self-esteem, and do take care of yourself.”
— Kimberley Hibbert
