Improve your relationship in 10 steps
MANY couples are guilty of allowing the bustle of their daily lives to slowly weaken their relationships. It starts when a partner does little things like cancelling date nights, and as the deterioration escalates, so do the arguments. When problems arise in a relationship, some people believe that the only solution is to end the relationship or ignore the issues. However, there are things you can do besides breaking it off. Counsellor Violet Brown makes some recommendations below.
1. Talk and listen to your partner. Ask how the day went, and listen to what they actually say.
2. Know the things that upset you and find ways to control yourself. This will lessen the number of explosive arguments and teach you some self-control. Not everything has to lead to a knock-down, drag-out fight.
3. Try using empathy to make a closer connection. Try to understand how your partner feels about things before commenting on them, to avoid sounding insensitive.
4. Make intimate gestures. This does not only include sex. Something as simple as a back rub, holding her hands or kissing her forehead can work wonders for the woman who is feeling neglected.
5. Try to spend more time with your partner. Revive date nights when you get away from the kids. A date night doesn’t have to be expensive, it can be as simple as a drive to Palisadoes with drinks and sandwiches.
6. Remind your partner of the good times, and talk about fond memories. Look back through the photo albums and the videos and reminisce, even if you’ve not been together for long. Reinforcing why you’re together occasionally can’t hurt.
7. Show compassion. Tell and show your partner that you appreciate him/her.
8. Admit when you are wrong, and don’t do so grudgingly. Avoid loud arguments and see how best you can resolve issues peacefully.
9. Start to include your partner in decision-making, if you aren’t yet doing so. Show your partner that their opinion matters, even with the small stuff.
10. Think before you act. Ask yourself, “Will this hurt his/her feelings?” “Will this cause an argument?” “Is this a selfish move?” If the answers are in the positive, then rethink your strategy.
