Things you shouldn’t share about your relationship on Facebook
BRAGGING or complaining about aspects of their relationship on Facebook has become a common practice among some couples. However, doing this can affect trust, respect and emotional security, which counsellor Angela Daniels says are some characteristics of a healthy relationship.
“The details and occurrences within an intimate relationship are personal and private, as they are usually expressions of deep personal feelings, thoughts, secrets and weaknesses. The public disclosure of such information breaches confidentiality, trust, respect, and usually results in a decline or cessation of emotional security,” Daniels told All Woman.
“This can increase and intensify conflicts within the relationship, which could lead to deterioration in the health of the relationship.”
She said trusting your partner means that you believe that they are reliable, you can confide in them and that you feel emotionally safe with them. Respecting them means that you are thoughtful, courteous and value your partner’s thoughts and feelings, and emotional security means feeling emotionally safe in the relationship. This includes trust and supporting your partner.
You might want to tell the entire world that you are happy in the relationship and are having an abundance of fun, but posting every moment is not good for the relationship, Daniels said. While some highlights are OK to post, she said you should never post the following online:
1. Information pertaining to frustrations and fights with your partner
These incidents should be between you both, or between you both and a counsellor, and should never be aired for the world to see. So if your husband is making you mad with his cheating, or if your wife keeps the house in a mess and you’re frustrated, discuss it privately, but don’t post it.
2. Pictures of deep intimate moments
An occasional photo of you and your mate is OK, but no one wants to see you both in bed, on Facebook live, making out. No one wants to see the after-effects of your mating either – the wrinkled sheets or dazed eyes. Keep intimate moments private.
3. Information about your partner’s weaknesses
This is one of the greatest betrayals – exposing your partner’s weaknesses to the world. So he may be a poor lover or a bad money manager, but that doesn’t mean that everyone on your ‘friends list’ needs to know. Respecting your partner means that you will keep certain things private, and won’t seek to embarrass him/her in public.
4. Details of challenges within your relationship
Every relationship comes with challenges, even those that seem perfect. Every couple will fight, bicker and get annoyed with each other, despite the outward signs that things may be going well. You don’t need to feel like you’re the only one experiencing challenges, and that the experience is so novel that you have to post it online.
5. Personal information that your partner disclosed to you
If your partner divulged some detail about family, work, or some other information that is personal, don’t share it online, no matter how juicy the details. This is a betrayal of trust, and a sure way for your partner to lose confidence in your ability to separate real life from cyberspace.
