Surviving Christmas…
CHRISTMAS is a happy time of year for many, when close-knit families look forward to spending time and having fun together. But unfortunately this is not everyone’s reality, and for those people who fall outside this subset, Christmas can turn out to be quite depressing.
We are aware of all the gloom that could come at a time that is meant for celebration, for giving and for sharing love, so we have compiled a starter pack to evade depression at Christmas for varying groups of people. Here’s how to survive Christmas:
When you’re single
Sure enough, we all want to snuggle up to our significant others at Christmas, but those who aren’t in a relationship might be tempted to give in to loneliness and hook up with the nearest available person. Don’t do that. Instead, pamper yourself with love; treat yourself well; buy yourself something that makes you feel good. That is the first and most important step. Also, do something nice for someone – it doesn’t have to be monetary, just a random act of kindness. This will make you feel good. For fun you can certainly hang out with friends, but stay away from those who are coupled up and will make you feel like a third wheel. If you have a choice, choose the family dinners where they are less likely to judge you about your single status. That way, the only thing you will need to focus on is pleasing yourself.
When you’re a single parent
Whether it is a divorce, the child’s other parent was never in the picture, or death, this is the time you may wish that you had a stable family. If the child wishes to see his/her other parent during the holiday, once there is no risk of harm, consider allowing them visitation, and hang out with friends while your child is away if you feel lonely. Also, think about new fun activities to do with the child if he/she is with you alone. Importantly, don’t just consume yourself with what will make your child happy, you have to think about yourself too. Do something that makes you feel good, because your child won’t be happy if he/she thinks you’re not happy.
When you’re grieving
Dealing with the loss of a loved one can be particularly difficult in the midst of all the stresses of the holiday. Grief experts say that during the festive season, people tend to miss their loved ones more, and this can cause so much despair that sometimes you are caught between continuing your family traditions and forfeiting everything because it is simply too painful without the dearly departed. How do you survive? First of all, consider your health and your well-being. Remember that you need to go through the process at your pace, so don’t feel guilty about not being able to do what you used to do. Similarly, if you want to continue traditions, don’t be too concerned with people who “expect” you to pass on the holiday. If there are children in the picture, make an effort to strike a balance between their needs and yours. Give them all the love and attention that they need, and if they would like, try to create a holiday environment, as it could lift their spirits and yours. Also, never shut out people who genuinely want to help, as their friendship can improve your mood.
When you’re a newlywed
It’s your first Christmas together as a married couple and there is quite a lot you want to do, especially as you aim to start a rich family tradition while making sure that it is still magically romantic for you both. There is also the question of where to spend the holiday – you’ll need to decide whether you are going to alternate years, spread out the celebrations, split the time, or just spend the time together as a couple. The important thing with this is making sure that you are both comfortable and it makes you both happy.
When you don’t like your in-laws
It’s no fun being caught between a loving partner and unpleasant in-laws, but you also want to make your partner happy, and spending time with family during the holidays is a long-standing tradition. To deal with difficult in-laws you can try a number of things — avoiding topics that are usually a sore point, and managing your expectations of them. Know that not because they are adults or Christians means that they know how to be respectful or non-judgemental. The most important thing is remembering that it is only temporary — you/they will be home sooner than you think, so grit your teeth and smile.
When you’re feuding with your family
As upset as you or they may be, you’ll probably both miss each other, regardless of how you or they may act. This is the perfect time for forgiveness. Ask yourself questions about your part in the feud, what you need to do to take responsibility, and in your mind work through moving past them. If you know that it will get crazy at the get-together and you’ll feel cornered, talk to a friend or confidant and give vent to your feelings instead of losing it in front of the family. Again, remember that this too shall pass.
When you are away from family
Holidays are a time when spending time together is very important, but sometimes work and other unavoidable situations intervene. But thanks to technology, there are all these gadgets and apps that help you to not only hear the voices of those you love, but to see them in ‘real time’, which means that if you aren’t caught up in a business meeting or whatever else may be keeping you away, you can be very much a part of the festivities with family. Do this throughout the holiday and it will make things better.
