Dating rules

WE’VE all heard the stories — “he cheated”, “she cheated”, “he has a girlfriend, but…”, “she has a man, but…”, or “we’re in an open relationship“. They’re enough to make one wonder whether monogamy is natural. And as much as some would like to blame it on HBO’s late-night docuseries, these kinds of things have been happening way before Whappie even threatened Phillup.

If one partner cannot satisfy our desires, we feel the need to seek out others to pick up the slack. But food for thought — could it be that cheaters are actually so empty inside that they remain unfulfilled despite a surfeit of wives, girlfriends or concubines? Could it also be a fear of heartbreak that makes them feel that they must have more than one woman on their radar, so that if one leaves there’s always another available to fill the void?

Some women are OK with being sister wives, and some men enjoy life as Joe Grind, usually because they are getting some good benefits — money, sex, passes to parties, professional links, food… they are not just being a side piece for no reason.

Of course, there are situations where one may fall hard for someone and just can’t let go, even though you know that he/she has other lovers, so you just work with it until you can do better. There are some women who will flat out tell their men, “Look here, I know you are sleeping with other women, and if you want to continue doing so, there are rules.”

These include wearing a condom every time, not taking the women to the house, never taking late calls, and having the outside women show respect for the ‘wife’.

But in my book of love, sharing is insulting. I used to give chances, but when men take your kindness for weakness, after a while, it’s over. You want to keep me? Here are the rules: there will only be me, and if you are not satisfied, speak with me about it and let’s see if there can be a compromise. If nothing changes after some time, please leave.

Good day, sir!