Davine Butler: Love Like It Never Happened

WHILE growing up, most of her time was spent in church doing the performing arts, and she dreamt of becoming an actress. But it was her late cousin Novelette who sparked her true passion for writing, which would become Davine Butler’s therapy.

Today, she is promoting her book, Love Like It Never Happened, penned to help those who are broken to overcome their situation, much like she had to do in dealing with the challenges of her past, such as dealing with abandonment, her cousin’s suicide, and her father’s absence.

She chronicled these challenges in journals. This detailing of her life experiences, and her feelings about them, helped her release the anger she was carrying.

“I had come face to face with someone going through a personal crisis and had to deal with that, plus my own issues, and it uprooted many [memories] from my childhood days. I began thinking of why my mother left me with my grandparents and I realised there was unforgiveness there. I began wondering why daddy was basically next door but he never visited. I began dealing with that situation and it caused me to open up my own life, make myself vulnerable, and I dealt with all that. It was painful and scary, as I had to come face to face with my own issues. I wrote stuff about suicide, not wanting to live, feeling rejected, and not understanding that my mom wanted to make life better for me,” she told All Woman.

Eventually, while chronicling her experiences, she decided that she would pen Love Like It Never Happened to help others.

“It is my hope and my prayer that it will bring some healing for someone,” Butler said. “Dealing with pain, rejection, betrayal is never an easy thing. Sometimes we find ourselves, because of what we’ve gone through, or what we’re going through, we find ourselves filled with resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness… I understand that place, and that’s how the book came about.”

She said the book is about love, betrayal, forgiveness and unforgiveness, and, most of all, restoration.

“Going through the process brought me to a place of tremendous healing and restoration, and that is the greatest part of it. This book is really showing you that sometimes the restoration of the relationship might not come, but you yourself will be restored and healed as you forgive and let go of stuff. Forgiveness is not for those who hurt you, but for you. It frees you. And the Lord is saying, ‘Let it go and love like it never happened.’ The book is taking you from one stage to another and taking people through a process. I may not be able to tell you why what you’re going through is happening, but I have the how — how to get through your crisis, “ she said.

Butler told All Woman that she was raised in Cavaliers, Stony Hill, by her grandparents, and was close to her cousin, who later committed suicide.

“She was the one who introduced me to writing. She was like that mother figure… and I really carried the hurt [for a long time],” she said.

A past student of Oberlin High, she explained that her passion for the arts was nurtured as she had a teacher who was involved in local theatre who helped to hone her skills for the discipline. But after high school she veered from that path, concentrating instead on working and furthering her education.

That led her into business, and she and her husband of 12 years, Ariff Butler, are now the proud owners of Bloozick Multimedia, a film and multimedia development company.

She also served as a talk show host for the radio programme Beyond Deliverance, which formerly aired on BESS 100FM and Roots FM, and it dealt with social, spiritual and economic issues in the country.

The mother of three and member of City Harvest Church of God is also the founder of a group called Wives Exclusive, founded on the belief that every wife has the God-given ability to be all that she has been called to be in her career or ministry, whilst still having a balanced family life.

And with a desire to see the foundation of marriages and families strengthened, she dedicates her time to speaking to women, especially married women, all over the world about their purpose and motivating, mobilising and retooling them to overcome the challenges they face in their individual lives.

“It’s dealing with the woman in her entirety to say, even though you’re a wife and mom, you can still go out and achieve your business and personal goals,” she said,

“The society is built on family and relationships. With the breakdown of family life we have a dysfunctional society. Seeing that while growing up, I developed a passion to see the family healed.”

Butler’s message to women is to pay attention to themselves, have a support system, and know that they deserve to be happy.

“It’s not what you were born into, but who you were born out of. You were born out of the creator’s mind and sent into this world to fulfil your great destiny,” she said.

Butler’s book is currently available on Amazon and in bookstores.