Men share their body image struggles

FED by the mass media, stereotypes about how women should look, how much they should weigh, how fast they should bounce back after pregnancy, and how well they should age have formed a great part of the experience of today’s woman, who often feels pressured to bend to the trends.

But increasingly, the person looking in the mirror for flaws is no longer confined to the female gender. Men, too, fuelled by stereotypes of what constitutes manliness, are becoming increasingly insecure about their appearance, and though some are not willing to admit it, they are struggling inside with the disappointment of how their bodies look — the pudge, the receding hairline and the inadequate penis size.

Dr Dalea Bean, lecturer in the Institute for Gender and Development Studies at the University of the West Indies, Mona, said that though body image issues are by no means equal with regards to the attention men and women place on such issues, there are also societal rules for men.

These are usually based on expectations of what is acceptable and appropriate for femininity and masculinity.

“Traditionally, because beauty is more frequently assigned to femininity, and because women’s bodies are more harshly policed by society, body image issues are usually female centred,” she said.

However, where men are concerned, Dr Bean said the principle is similar, particularly with shifting fashion and fitness trends, which also have rules for the ideal male.

She added that a certain appearance in men is also linked to financial status, sexual prowess and general success in life.

But body image struggles may be less of an issue for Jamaican men than their foreign counterparts, according to Dr Leachim Semaj, psychologist and chief ideator of Above and Beyond.

He said that based on his experience, Jamaican men, for the most part, just live with their inadequacies.

“A small number of men are into fitness and how their body looks, but the average Jamaican man doesn’t come close to being concerned with what he looks like. They just wear bigger and bigger clothes and make adjustments,” he said.

“Also, a significant proportion of Jamaican men and woman are overweight but don’t perceive it as a crisis. There is, however, a group who take their cues from magazines and white media and style that says this must be the norm. If we talk about being physically fit, an active exercise programme, look on the road who you see walking ­— women. When you go to the aerobics classes 99 per cent are women. Most men don’t do things to upgrade,” Semaj said.

Marriage and family therapist Wayne Powell concurred, adding that whereas women exert more physical and financial effort and resources to create and maintain a particular image, men do care but are often less motivated to do all that is required to maintain consistency

But deep down, for the men below, their inadequacies are constantly at the back of their minds, though they are trying to live with them.

Ricardo K, 29:

I have belly fat. I hate to go to the beach because I don’t want to take my shirt off.

Orlando B, 30:

I don’t wear my shirts inside my pants because I have a big belly and I don’t like it. If I have to dress up I wear a jacket and button it or I wear a vest to hide it.

Luke D, 27:

Caps are my best friend because I have a receding hairline, and this makes me look old.

Bryan R, 41:

In my younger years, I was always well toned and had hard abs. Now that I’m older and they aren’t so firm anymore, I’m very scared of getting “big man belly”. I don’t want it at all. I’m obsessed with exercising now. I work out every day and check my weight every week. My lady thinks I’m vain. But I’m literally afraid to get a big belly.

Jermaine P, 36:

I used to feel funny because my girl is slim and shapely and has a flat stomach, while I am fat all over. It makes me wonder sometimes if it ever turns her off. But one day we ran into her ex and he’s chubby too. I realised then that she has a thing for the biggas.

Kevin L, 37:

My [manhood] is kinda small. I feel bad about it. So I feel out girls, to find out about their size preference. If they have a problem with a smaller man I don’t allow the relationship to go any further.