Shamed into conforming

International Women’s Day (IWD) 2019 is being celebrated this Friday, March 8, under the theme #BalanceforBetter.

While we recognise the day, the focus is on building a gender-balanced world, and realising that everyone has a part to play in this — from grassroots activism to worldwide action.

This week, as All Woman recognises the theme, we highlight the absence of balance, and celebrate its presence.

WOMEN’S bodies are not public property, yet there is an overwhelming sense of entitlement in the public sphere when it comes to what a woman should be able to do, and not do. Women have been, and still are policed based on the views and moral standards of those who wield power, using shame and fear to control what they wear, whom they partner with, whether they have children, and even what is an appropriate ‘body count’ to be considered proper women.

The patriarchal ideals are sugar-coated in phrases of concern for women’s safety — scaring women into thinking that if they do not adhere to certain behaviours, then they will attract various dangers to themselves and their reputations. These concerns come from everyone — the religious leaders, politicians, heads of schools, and the list goes on. So if a woman wears clothes that show her figure, she will attract harassers and rapists. If women do not unite and defend themselves against patriarchy, then they leave themselves open for gender inequality and shaming. If a girl’s uniform does not touch her ankles, she will call carnal abuse upon herself. If she wears a dancehall costume outside of class, she may not be accepted into the noble profession for which she is studying. If she chooses to have sex with one too many persons, she is giving automatic consent to anyone who is interested. And if she gets pregnant outside of wedlock, she will no longer be a proper Christian woman.

It’s an issue that transcends age and class, and below women share their views and experiences of being policed by societal standards, and in some cases, institutional rules.

Jodi B, student:

I think the Jamaican culture is so ingrained with the commonplace shaming of women’s bodies and agency that if you’re not paying attention you’ll miss some of the instances where it’s taking place. I can’t remember a time where I was directly shamed but school policies certainly participated in the policing. During swim classes in high school we were inspected while in our swimsuits. We had to have no hair under our arms and no pubic hair peeking through our swimsuits. If girls had nail polish on their toes they would be made to scrape it off with a sharp object. Not to mention surprise searches where we were made to lift our uniforms to ensure we were wearing proper undergarments.

Charlene B, student:

I do wish that general church teachings on modesty didn’t come off like flinging stones at women and girls or body shaming those with different body types. There is a way to teach and encourage modesty without body shaming or making people feel like they have to apologise for how their bodies naturally are.

JoellE W, nurse:

I grew up in the Adventist church and got pregnant at 18. Before the pregnancy I was actively involved in the church, and was a baptised member. But when I got pregnant everything changed. I was publicly stripped of all my duties, and had to sit at the back of the church for the duration of the pregnancy. After my son was born I had to go in front of the elders and apologise for my “mistake”. Only after two years was I allowed to resume church duties — and only after I agreed to marry the father, who by the way, was a junior minister in the church, and was never sanctioned for his role in my “indiscretion”.

Renay K, PR coordinator:

For the gender-aware among us, it’s evident that patriarchy is rearing its ugly head. The male chauvinistic chest-beating in belittling women for clothing has to stop. Why do women have to be placed in a box? Freedom of expression encompasses the right to liberate yourself through what you wear. The only time women are socially accepted through their clothing is whenever it pleases men.

Kaydie D, entrepreneur:

I have a newborn and I am exclusively breastfeeding. I was in a bus the other day and my baby got hungry and so I whipped out a breast and started to feed my child. The lady beside me, in the most concerned tone, asked if I didn’t have a receiver to cover up. But I see no need to cover up my breast, which was given to me to feed my child, just because grown men have become fascinated with them and have sexually objectified them. If no one has to cover their face and food when eating I don’t see why my baby has to.

Kimberly H, accountant:

The abortion arguments going around are enough to show how everybody thinks that they should have a say in what a woman does with her body. I would personally not get an abortion done, and that is my choice. I just agree that it’s only fair that each woman is allowed to make that decision for herself whether she wants to carry a child in her body or not, if she is ever faced with that decision. Scientists can’t agree on an exact point at which life starts for a foetus, so the next best person to decide is the one who would be obligated to nurture it until it can survive on its own.

Trevann H, biologist:

I think it’s about time society stops policing women’s bodies. It’s unfair. It affects me because it affects every woman. The fact that abortion isn’t legal and the fact that we have to be covered up in this hot country, and society still thinking that what I wear warrants assault, are just ridiculous.

Leigh-Ann, C, student:

I have it double dose — I attend an all-girls’ Catholic school, and an evangelical church! If we post “offensive” images of ourselves in shorts or going to parties on social media, even though we’re not in uniform, we are called out and shamed in Monday devotion. If we’re not wearing slips under our uniform, we can get a detention. If we wear lip gloss, we can get a detention. And we have to stand several feet away from boys when we’re conversing, because God forbid, we tempt them. At church we can’t wear sleeveless clothing because the men will be tempted. We can’t wear too-short skirts, because the men are tempted. We can’t shave our legs, because the men will be tempted. And we can’t do full frontal hugs, because the brothers will be tempted. So we’re basically living our lives as nuns because men and boys can’t control their hormones.