Bad nannies

WE can’t help it that we have to leave our children to go to work, but we can help who we hire to take care of them. As many Jamaican moms have only eight to 12 weeks of maternity leave, we sometimes have to leave our babies with a caregiver before they are even two months old — and until paternity leave comes into full swing, this, very often, will not be the child’s father.

So in steps the nanny. Whether it is a grandparent, a relative, a family friend or friendly neighbour, nannies come with their own ideas and ways of childcare, which may not necessarily align with those of the parents. As a result, nannies can be a source of either reassurance or anxiety for new moms. Sometimes they are great with the children, but other times… let these parents tell you:

Chev, 28, financial advisor:

My daughter’s skin is sensitive. If a mosquito bites her it stays for days, so it’s easy to tell when she is being hurt. When she was around a year old her father’s relative used to keep her, but from time to time I would see welts on her skin, and my daughter would cry every time I left her with this woman. She denied ever hitting her, even though she constantly complained that the baby was ‘rude’. So we installed a hidden camera one day, and it showed her just watching TV all day, and even spanking my daughter on her hand for taking up the remote. We fired her that same day.

Anastasia, 29, telesales agent:

I was working odd shifts at work, so my mom offered to keep my son for me since we couldn’t find a daycare with opening hours that I needed. I knew it was a bad idea from the start, because she has some beliefs and practices that just don’t sit well with me, and she feels like I’m disrespecting her if I tell her how I want my child to be raised. She kept him for two weeks before we had a big argument. I came home to find my baby on his tummy, after I specifically told her to put him on his back. He had a cold, and instead of giving him the medicine I left for him, she decided to give my two-month-old bush tea to drink, and refused to give him the formula because it was “too milky for him with the cold”. Now she only sees him when I take him to visit her.

Keneisha, 31, inventory clerk:

My friend recommended a lady for me when I had to return to work. Something about her was off to me from the first time I met her, but I thought my friend knew her, so she must be OK. She had another baby at her home caring for, who she said was her grandson. After a few days, she told me to send five diapers daily instead of four, which I thought was odd because I changed the baby about three times in the day at home. She also needed formula very often, yet my baby seemed skinnier to me and was very hungry at pick-up. I decided to put a little mark on my baby’s diapers, and sure enough she was putting my child’s Pampers on her grandchild. I bet she was feeding him with my child’s formula too.

Peta-gaye, 35, lab technician:

I had a hard time finding a suitable sitter for my first child, because her father and I had just moved into a new community and we didn’t really know anyone. Someone from church recommended her cousin from the country, who was willing to live-in with us during the week, care for the baby, and do light housework. She seemed nice, but she was clueless and her head was really tough. She mixed the formula wrong, she held the baby wrong, she burned up the bottles, and always seemed very shaky and nervous. I could tell that she genuinely loved the baby, but I didn’t feel at peace leaving her alone with her all day. I kept imagining the house burning down or my baby choking in her arms. She was too accident-prone so we had to let her go.

Geena, 24, entertainment coordinator:

My mom told me that her cousin used to take care of my brother and I when we were younger, and she was now in her early 50s and still very able-bodied, so she would make a great sitter for my son. From the first time I went to visit her with the baby I knew she wouldn’t keep him for long. She was bothered by the fact that he was not wearing anything red and promptly put a red scrunchie on his arm. She kept rubbing oils on his fontanelle (mole) that made his hair smell, and she insisted on giving him foods and drinks that his poor little three-month-old stomach was not ready for, such as bush tea, white Lasco, crackers (for teething), porridge and water. The final straw for me was when he was sleeping for a very long time and I asked how come, and she laughed, “Mi just tip likkle rum pon him tongue fi him go sleep”.

Tanique, 38, teacher:

The fundamentalist Christian thing was irritating but tolerable — even when she told me that instead of the “violent” cartoons I allowed the baby to watch, she would read Revelations to the baby and tell her about the end times and why she shouldn’t take the mark of the beast. I even tolerated her even though I know that when I left she was searching through my things and helping herself to my grocery and detergent — and by the way, one day I was missing a powerbank and when I asked her she said she had “accidentally” taken it home. I tolerated all that because she seemed nice enough, and getting childcare where I lived was hard. But when I came home earlier than usual one day, opened the door and saw her eating my baby’s powdered formula from the scoop, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The lady was literally licking the scoop. I was so grossed out, that I fired her on the spot.