Sexuality education key for people with disabilities

DANIEL is a 20-year-old man who has Down syndrome. Because of a heart complication that he was born with, he has had to take Sildenafil tablets (sold under the brand name Viagra, among others) for some years now. This causes a side effect that many men would not mind — frequent, strong, long-lasting erections. But Daniel, who stays home most days while everyone else in his family goes to school or work, is embarrassed by these erections, and locks himself in his room when they occur.

Besides being jokingly questioned about whether he has a girlfriend, and what he thinks when he watches certain programmes on the television, Daniel has never been engaged in a discussion about his sexuality and the changes that happen to his body as a result of puberty and his medication. It is not acknowledged that he has sexual desires, and is curious about exploring this part of himself.

And sadly, this is the reality of many other Jamaicans with special needs.

Rachael Cann is an autism specialist who founded the iCann HELP Learning Centre for students with special needs. Cann is also a certified sexual education specialist, and from her years of working with disabled people locally, she has noticed that people with intellectual challenges are typically not treated as sexual beings.

“Individuals with intellectual disabilities are rarely seen as sexual beings as they are believed not to have the cognitive capability or emotional maturity to understand what desire, sexual preference or sexual behaviour is,” she lamented. She said that while it is better among persons with physical disabilities, as they are often more accepted as being sexual, there is a general misconception of what sexuality is in Jamaica that impedes sexual education at all levels.

“Jamaicans think that by promoting abstinence or ignoring sexuality it will go away,” she pointed out. “But this can lead to depression, frustration, and self-esteem issues. For individuals with intellectual disabilities this can also lead to physical harm as they try to act on sexual feelings in harmful ways.”

Gloria Goffe, executive director of the Combined Disabilities Association (CDA) warns that not educating disabled persons about their sexuality can lead to grave consequences.

“Parents and caregivers cannot think that by not telling them certain things that they are protecting them about their sexual functions. By not telling them you are exposing them to abuse and manipulation,” she said.

Goffe pointed out that it is important to teach children, regardless of special needs, about all their body parts and functions, possibly by using innovative teaching methods.

Similarly, Cann believes sexuality is intrinsic and is a core aspect of living independently and leading a functioning and happy life. She gives these recommendations for educating children about their sexuality:

Be specific

Individuals on the (autism) spectrum and those with intellectual disabilities require explicit, direct and detailed instruction — this includes anatomically correct names for body parts and their function in sex, the purpose of sex and even masturbation if they’re going to have sex by or with themselves.

Be positive

Be sex positive in your approach when tackling sexual education. Parents and caregivers will need to reflect on their own feelings regarding sexuality and place the happiness and well-being of their children before theirs. Believe that your child/ward can learn and embrace that your child has sexual needs and desires.

Be consistent

Goals and communication must be the same across all environments. When teaching your child any skill or concept be brief, be simple, be positive, repeat and rehearse. Also provide positive and achievable behavioural options.

Be respectful

Find ways to communicate, whether it’s verbal or non-verbal, and use the correct terminology.

When it comes to sex with a disabled partner, Cann points out that sex is not only penetration.

“We need to start embracing that sex is not just penetration. By using body mapping you can take your partner through the four stages of the sexual response cycle (desire, arousal, excitement and orgasm) possibly quicker and more intense as you’d know exactly what, where and to what degree your partner likes a certain type of sensation,” she said. “We also need to consider that the timing of a woman’s response cycle and a man’s response cycle may not be the same even if they do reach orgasm at the same time and it varies from person to person.”

She has several recommendations for increasing the level of inclusion that people with disabilities are allowed in Jamaica.

“I think people need to see individuals with disabilities in the workplace, at parties, jumping in carnival and shopping so that the stigma of disabilities can be broken down and so that people can start treating them as people that they can create meaningful friendships with,” she said.

She added: “Develop and implement a sexuality curriculum for individuals with special needs, as well as workshops for parents and teachers. Unlike sex-ed, where the curriculum focuses primarily on sexual behaviour and sexuality, this curriculum would also include effective communication, building friendships, positive body image and self-esteem.”