Saints, suckers and storytellers
IT is often said that some things are better left unsaid, and that especially rings true for those of us in relationships. We often know things about our partners but opt to keep quiet when we can foresee the consequences of our revelations. Whether it’s to avoid an argument, save our partner from embarrassment, or because we are not saints ourselves, we keep these details secret and carry on in not-so-ignorant bliss.
These readers share the things they know, but their partners don’t know that they know:
Anissia, 32, designer:
I know that he had a short affair shortly after he proposed to me. I was devastated when I found out, but I had just told this man I would marry him right in front of all our friends, and congratulations were still coming in. I was deliberating my next move for a few days and I kept searching his phone when he was bathing. I could see from the chat that he regretted it, and he came clean to the girl saying he was planning to get married and couldn’t continue seeing her, so I forgave him and decided to not mention it unless I saw him trying to cheat again.
Kev, 28, forklift operator:
She was with one of my friends before she met me, but she doesn’t know that I know him. It was a case where my bredrin had his wife, and he really rated this girl and didn’t want her to get hurt, so he set me up with her so she would kinda ease off on him. Since we got serious my friend and I just decided to call it a day and not tell her about any of that. She thinks it’s a wrong number I called and got her.
Chris, 24, entertainment co-ordinator:
My girlfriend doesn’t know that I know that she’s not 30, as she told me, but actually 46. I don’t mind the age difference, but I wish that she had been honest. She does indeed look like she’s in her 30s when she has her make-up on, and she’s quite toned, but it’s obvious otherwise if you really pay attention. One day when she showered at my place, where the bathroom lights are brighter than at hers, I really looked at her and wondered. And then afterwards I went in her purse and checked her driver’s licence and confirmed her real age. I haven’t told her that I know, and I hope she will come out and be honest soon, because I plan to propose.
Shaniqua, 29, account executive:
I know that my man was in another relationship when we met. He pretended that he was single but I knew that he wasn’t. To be honest I just didn’t care at the time, and I saw where I could get him to end things with her for me eventually, which he did a couple months later.
Natalie, 30, early childhood teacher:
He has a kinky side to him that he doesn’t think I know about. I can tell from the kind of adult films he watches on his laptop that he is very curious about certain things, even though he pretends not to be. But I think as the relationship goes on then all these thoughts will come to light.
Wayne, 28, financial advisor:
I know when she is really on her period different from when she lies about it because I’m good with dates and her breasts always look fuller that time of the month. But I just guess that’s her way of saying she’s not interested in sex or she wants some comfort, so I pretend to believe her.
Shy-Ann, 31, nail technician:
I know he cheated on me with his babymother when I went abroad for three months. I just don’t say anything because I cheated on him with my ex who I met up with in the States in that same time, so we’re even.
Nicketa, 26, bartender:
I know that my man doesn’t bathe every day. Sometimes if I go over and use his bathroom, I see that his bathing rag is so tough that you know it hasn’t been used recently, and he has a little odour sometimes. But at least he puts out the effort to tidy up himself when he knows he is going to see me, so I don’t make him any wiser.
Charmaine, 35, concessionaire:
I know he cheats sometimes and I know who he cheats with, but it’s only because he is a terrible liar and I’m a sneaky person. But he treats me so well when he steps out, and I’ve spent so many years with him already, that I just decided to live with it and not cause any problems. I don’t feel threatened and I don’t want him to know that I go through his stuff.
