Potty training mistakes to avoid

IT’S perhaps one of the most exciting, yet the most dreaded periods in a new parent’s life — that period when it’s time for potty training. It’s exciting because you’re entering the phase when you’ll stop buying expensive diapers, and dreaded because here will start the accidents, the trials and tribulations, as the toddler seeks to get accustomed to using the potty right.

When the time comes, many parents will rely on their nurseries and daycare centres to start the process; others will scour the Internet for ideas; and still others will launch into it like an experiment to see how it works out. Whatever the method, at around age two going on three, both boys and girls will start this process, and while it will go smoothly for many, for others it can be fraught with problems. And this is often because parents make some of the mistakes they share below, which you should avoid repeating for potty training perfection.

Starting too early

“Don’t start when you think the baby should, or when someone else tells you that they should, start when they’re ready,” Lisa F said. “I made the mistake — my son was supposed to start basic school in September and the school required that he was potty trained. Though he was turning three in August, he hadn’t really shown much of an interest yet. But I wanted him to go to school, so I spent the entire summer trying to potty train him. Let’s just say that instead of progressing, he regressed, and I had to enrol him in a private kindergarten that October, and by November they succeeded in doing what I couldn’t do. Don’t start potty training too early, and don’t turn up the pressure just because you have a deadline to meet.”

Pressuring the baby

“The worst thing you can do is pressure your baby,” says Fayasha S. “All that will do is make them not want to go potty. Instead of making the process one filled with fear, reward them for the times they do it right, and even for trying. All you will do when you pressure them is make them take longer to toilet train.”

Following other children’s pace

“Each child learns differently, so if your neighbour’s kid is already potty trained and yours isn’t, don’t compare them. Even if your other kids were fast learners, don’t compare them. It may mean that you’re buying diapers and pull-ups for a few months longer than you imagined, but you have to follow your child’s own schedule for potty training, and no one else’s, as every single child is different.”

Not realising that accidents happen

“Accidents will happen — many, many accidents before the child gets it perfect,” Charmaine S said. “So don’t give away the extra diapers just yet, even when it seems like the child is fully trained. There are nights when you will have accidents… and sometimes travelling or scary situations for the child will bring on an accident. You have to be prepared for these, and never, ever make the child feel bad for having accidents.”

Punishing your child

“The last thing that should be in your mind when potty training is punishment,” says Joelle P. “Potty training should be about rewarding good behaviour, or rewarding their attempts, never for punishing perceived failures. So get that off your mind from the get-go. The child should never see the act of toilet training as something stressful. Give them as much time as they need to perfect it, even if they have to be in pull-ups way beyond the time you thought they would be.”

Thinking that a fancy potty will work wonders

“Whether it’s the traditional Jamaican ‘chimmy’, or the fancy potty that talks back and flushes itself, don’t for a minute think that any of these will make the baby potty train faster or better than the other,” Simone M said. “More expensive and fancier are sure good to look at, but they won’t do squat when your baby refuses to go, or if the baby prefers going on the floor or in her diaper for whatever reason. At the end of the day, you can only hope that they’ll get the basics before they enter pre-school.”