DIVORCE is often seen as an ending but for many women, it is actually a beginning — not just of a new chapter, but of a new identity. Because after divorce, you don’t just rebuild your life, you reintroduce yourself to the world.

When you adopt this attitude, you send a message to yourself and to the world, “Hey! I may have taken a few hard knocks but I’m back. Stronger, wiser and I’m not bitter”.

This is your rebrand.

Divorce can knock the breath out of you but if you are still breathing at the end of it, grab some fresh air and reposition your life. Don’t stay in mourning, don’t bury yourself. This is possibly your biggest opportunity for a rebirth.

Here are some things you can do to rebrand.

Redefine who you are without the marriage

For years, you may have been defined by your role as a wife. John’s wife. Paul’s wife. Now, you have the opportunity to rediscover who you are outside of that identity. You are YOU, a woman with a voice, a woman of purpose who is emerging from your pain to explore new possibilities.

Figure yourself out. What do you enjoy? What do you value? What kind of life do you want moving forward?  If you were married for a long time, you might find it difficult to re-adjust to living single and doing things solo, but take time to meditate, then move. Get the ball rolling in a new direction. If you need therapy, get therapy.

Remember, the marriage didn’t work out but you still have to live, not just exist. See this as your season to rediscover yourself.

Upgrade your environment

Your surroundings influence your mindset. If you’re still living in the matrimonial home after the divorce, rearrange your space. Change your décor. Create an environment that reflects your new season. Even small changes can shift how you feel about your life, because sometimes healing begins with changing what you see every day. If you’re up for a major shift, move. Get another place. As much as possible, leave the past behind

Strengthen your financial independence

This is not optional, it is essential. One of the most challenging things that a woman can experience is dealing with the financial realities of divorce. You’ll have to pay those bills on your own now, so try to get a better understanding of your finances. Build stability. Create new goals. Start a business from home. You will need the extra income.

Financial confidence changes how a woman moves in the world, and it gives you the freedom to make decisions from a place of strength, not survival.

Rebuild your confidence intentionally

Divorce can shake your confidence even if you don’t admit it but funny enough, it will show up in what you begin to accept.

For whatever reason the marriage failed, it will cause you to question a lot of things about yourself. Even strong, beautiful  intelligent women go through this. You’re  going to have to purposefully  rebuild your confidence.

Start by working on your mind. There’s nothing wrong with getting therapy. It helps. Invest in your appearance, get some new clothes, change the way you dress. When you look good you  feel good, so invest in your  personal  appearance and your personal development. Start going to the gym. Eat well. Treat yourself good. Confidence is not just how you feel, it is how you show up.

Be careful what you carry forward

Not everything from your past deserves a place in your future. It won’t be easy, but you have to release bitterness. Release blame. Release narratives that keep you stuck. If you stay bitter, that bitterness will show even in your looks and manifest in declining health. High blood sugar, high blood pressure, are all linked to stress!

You can learn the lessons but don’t hold unto the pain because pain should not shape your next chapter.

Divorce does not diminish you. It’s going to shake you … sometimes very hard. But divorce should not diminish you. Like any adverse situation, it’s going to reveal what you are made of. Learn the lessons, meditate on them, then reposition yourself for the best chapter of your life.

Marie Berbick-Bailey is a certified master life coach, women’s transformational coach, ordained minister, author, motivational speaker, wife, mother and big sister dedicated to empowering women to heal, thrive, and walk in purpose. Connect with her at www.marieberbick.com, www.marieberbickcoach.com or e-mail marieberbick@gmail.com.

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