Dear Editor,

While men and women may have distinct traditional roles, I see no gender when it comes to raw human struggle.

​Right now, that struggle is hitting men with an immense, quiet weight. They are caught between their own aspirations and the crushing expectations of society and family. The loud, undeniable truth of our culture is that nobody seems to care about men — not society, and tragically, sometimes not even the women they choose.

​As a result, men are shutting down. They hide their vulnerabilities because, too often, those weaknesses are weaponised against them. We live in a world where a man’s worth is tied entirely to his utility, not his character. But if a man is already bringing financial stability, protection, security, emotional safety, and with great hope, fidelity to the table, what is the woman actually contributing?

How is she cultivating peace in his world? How is she showing up for him? How is she adding to the advancement of the relationship? If the man is providing the infrastructure, one would hope the woman isn’t just a passive beneficiary but is actively co-building and maintaining the ecosystem. After all, as they say, one hand can’t clap.

Women have rightfully evolved from homemakers to highly educated, allegedly financially independent professionals, but the modern relationship dynamic hasn’t fully caught up. And will it?

Studies confirm what many men are experiencing in silence: The nurturing care they once received has dwindled. Home-cooked meals are rare, and intimacy has become transactional, tied strictly to feelings and mood rather than shared devotion. This leaves men profoundly isolated and creating space for another woman.

Men are expected to show up, produce, and remain a rock for the household every single day, completely independent of their internal state. Meanwhile, the warmth and soft landing they need to recharge at the end of that struggle is treated as a luxury they have to earn rather than a given in a true partnership. And let’s not forget that despite this retreat from traditional nurturing, men are still expected to carry a disproportionate financial load, keeping the old rule alive: Her money is hers, and his is theirs. Where is the mutual partnership in that? If we want to find the solution, we first have to ask: Did men set this trap for themselves from the onset?

Men, I hold you dear. Ladies, check on that good man you prayed so longingly for. He is carrying the world on his shoulders. Make sure he doesn’t have to carry it alone in his own home.

We cannot champion the evolution of women while leaving men stranded in the exhausting expectations of the past. Ultimately, this imbalance is unsustainable. According to the World Health Organization, the global suicide rate is more than twice as high among men than women.

Whether men set this expectation from the onset or society engineered it along the way is no longer the pressing issue. The real question is: How can we fix it? For the few that still care: How can we be more for our men? And men: Will you accept it?

Until we bridge the gap between a woman’s financial evolution and a man’s emotional survival, partnership will remain a myth, and relationships will remain transactional.

Shanette Waite

waite.shanette@gmail.com