What did you ignore and later regret in your last relationship?
WHEN we’re in love, we’re often blind to the other person’s flaws, even if they’re staring us in the face. Sometimes the red flags are pointed out by other people, but because we’re blinded by love, we ignore them to our peril. Also, sometimes when we’re in love, we don’t fight fair, and say and do things we don’t mean, some of which can be so devastating as to drive a wedge between us and the people we love.
Many people are walking around with scars from past unions, whether these are from past hurts that were unexpected, or regrets from pain they inflicted on someone who did not deserve it. What did you ignore and later regret in your last relationship that’s still haunting you?
Renee D:
I ignored the fact that I didn’t like any of his friends. I brushed it off for a while and later found out that it was either I learnt to like them or leave. Whatever his friends said was gospel, and he made it clear than no matter how long we were together, he knew them before me and would never choose me over them.
Dwayne C:
I ignored her jealous streak. She had to know my every move and always wanted to be around me. At first I thought it was cute and she just cared. But as the relationship progressed and I had to deal with this continuously, I realised she would get very upset and sad if she didn’t know where I was going or she didn’t accompany me.
Trudy C:
My intuition told me he was drifting away, but I ignored it, as I thought he loved me too much to leave. And so I treated him horribly, stomped on his feelings, his ego, when I was upset. He always forgave me, but the last time he didn’t. I know now that relationships mean compromise, and because he loves you doesn’t mean he won’t leave you.
Karen H:
I ignored the silent treatment. I thought he needed space. But he hardly spoke to me and kept distancing himself, yet I still overlooked it. I found out later that the distance and silence was a cover for his infidelity.
Leroy G:
I used to hear that ‘old fire stick easy to ketch’, but I was so naive I thought that her contacting her ex while still complaining about how much of a jerk he was, was her way of venting. Well, I later found out she was still seeing him and using his faults to judge me.
Shelly-Ann W:
I ignored the warnings from my parents and friends that he was no good. I finally got the courage to leave after learning about the third woman he had impregnated while in a relationship with me.
Marie J:
I was a big secret. I remember he introduced me as his sister at a party once. I asked him why he did it, he claimed he didn’t want anyone in his business. What I found out later from one of his friends — who made a move on me — was that everyone thought we were siblings and he actually had someone else whom he introduced as his girlfriend.
Lanny D:
She would go quiet and shut down when she was upset. I didn’t care. I was working to build a home for us and working for our children. I worked long hours and when I was home, I rested. There was no time for romance, even when she asked. Well, one night I came home and she had left with the kids. She left me this long letter. I’ve tried changing to try to get her back, but it hasn’t worked.
Mark W:
All the initial warning signs she showed me I ignored and ended up on the sorry side. One, she told me she liked to use men. Two, she told me she liked to break hearts, and three, she said she had no qualms about cheating.
