How to go from booty call to boo
Single women, in their effort to find themselves men, sometimes make every mistake there is in the book. One of them is being a friend with benefits, in the hopes that the men will eventually come around to realising their relationship potential.
But is this even possible? Indeed, says Lies Sex and Betrayal author Denecia Green, who below gives five practical steps to move from booty call to boo.
1. Play along and unleash your inner queen bee
Society has programmed women to think that men call the shots especially in a booty call arrangement. But this need not be so. If you are his booty call, consider this to be your golden opportunity — you have one foot in the door and now it’s time to fling the door wide open and take what is yours. As the woman in the situationship, booty call or no booty call, you still need to show that you are independent and confident. Try this: why not get all dolled up and go out with some of your friends. But of course be sure to let him know that you are having a great time without him. And it’s important to change up the order of things every once in a while. So for instance, if he calls and asks you to come over, tell him you can’t because you have other plans. Make him feel that he may sometime get what he wants from you but he is not getting everything he wants. If he begins to ask too many questions, it is a sign that he is beginning to care. It is important to unleash your inner queen bee. Make yourself fashionable, attractive, witty and engaging. Be confident in who you are and what you want from life. He will have more respect for you when you display these qualities. Remember, mutual respect and friendship are the two necessary ingredients to concoct the perfect relationship cocktail.
2. Don’t sell yourself short
It’s only natural to want to put your best food forward when getting to know someone but don’t sell yourself short. Don’t turn a blind eye if he is condescending towards you or he disrespects you or treats you unkindly. If you put up with his crap, thinking that he will like you even more for it, you are dead wrong. Your potential ‘booty call turned man’ cannot and will not respect you if you don’t first respect yourself. So if he ignores you in public or tries to embarrass you in front of others, or worse, calls you whatever he wants, then you need to put an immediate stop to that relationship.
3. Don’t get too emotional
Sometimes women can’t help but get emotional over the simplest of things. You need to handle your emotions and keep it together if you are serious about making that transition from being just his booty call. You need to stop being too clingy when it comes to him. Yes, you want him, but he doesn’t have to sense desperation in your voice or in your actions. Don’t get too upset because he doesn’t visit you enough or doesn’t call you as often. If you do this you are only reminding him of why he will only keep you as a booty call.
4. Pay attention to details
The non-committal kind of guy needs his space; this is why their primary medium to communicate is via text message. It is far less personal and they can boycott situations without much effort. If you want to make your booty call into a boyfriend, you have to communicate on a much deeper level. You need to call him and have face-to-face conversations instead of texting. However, the key thing here is to pay attention to details. It is important you pay keen attention to his reactions. If he sounds like he doesn’t want to talk or sounds nervous, don’t interrogate him. Just GET OFF THE PHONE. Look closely at how he reacts to things you say and how he acts in certain situations. If you sense he is getting antsy then cut the conversation and tell him you have things to do. Guys who are afraid of commitment love women who don’t make them feel cornered. When you spend time with him, keep it light and fun. He will eventually feel more comfortable around you and may even do things that may surprise you, which is your ultimate end goal. Some men on the other hand will want to have their cake and eat it too. So if you want something you have to be the one to bring it up. Initiate something to be done together that doesn’t begin/end in sex. If he says yes and actually follows through with this, then you might be on to something. But if he gives you the runaround yet still calls you when he wants to get some, then you are definitely just a booty call. The odds are against you transitioning in this instance.
5. Keep evolving
Like everything else, things eventually become repetitive and boring. It is important for you to be consistent and stay on top of your game. Keep the sexual experiences you share together evolving, continue to unleash the inner queen bee, continue to achieve, continue to grow and develop your character, work on bad habits and just be you no matter what. The secret weapon to wearing down a guy is TIME. The longer and more time he spends with you, the more fond of you he will become. This is another relationship cocktail — leave things to TIME.
