Dos and don’ts when meeting his mother
So your relationship with him is starting to get serious. He has told you that he is ready for you to meet his mother, a huge step for any couple. Below, Denecia Green, author of Lies, Sex & Betrayal, tells what you should and shouldn’t do at this meeting.
DOS
Gather details
Your boyfriend is the ideal person to ask for pointers, after all, no one knows his mom like he does. Every family has sensitive topics that they try to avoid, so interrogate him before the big event so that you don’t say something you regret. He may even tell you exactly what to talk to his mom about so she will instantly love you.
Dress appropriately
It is very important for you to get as much information as you can about the event in order to be dressed appropriately. Find out what style is expected and look the part.
You don’t want to be overdressed or look too casual. Avoid showing cleavage, avoid wearing sheer clothing or tops that expose your bra straps, and try not to put on too much make-up.
Be punctual
The first impression is usually the one that people remember most. Being punctual is one of the ways to make a good first impression as it not only shows that you respect other people’s time, but it shows that you are a responsible/dependable adult. If you think you may be late then call and apologise and give a time when you can be expected.
Indicate special dietary requirements
If you have any form of food allergies, are a vegan or just can’t stomach eating certain things, you should point this out in advance. There is nothing more awkward than being presented with a carefully prepared plate of food that you can’t eat.
Compliment and flatter
In order for this strategy to work, you need to compliment things that you really like. Shower a little praise on her for making her son a fine gentleman. She also won’t mind compliments about the décor or the food.
Be yourself but don’t overshare
Try your best not to show off your exploits and education; instead try to keep it at a level that involves all the members of the family. If you have the personality of a naturally open person then you may want to turn it down a notch for the first meeting.
Offer assistance
At the end of dinner, offer to help with cleaning up the kitchen. Even though she may decline, offer anyway. If she says yes, ensure that you are very careful with the crockery.
DON’TS
Avoid family drama
While it is OK to share your opinion on certain matters, try to avoid partaking in controversial topics such as politics, religion or gender issues. The last thing you want to do is to find yourself contradicting or offending other family members. Agreeing with things or staying politely quiet is the best policy. If they pressure you to respond, then keep your responses as neutral as possible.
Avoid using your cellphone
You must ignore the urge to keep checking your phone, no matter how difficult it is. Avoid prolonged telephone conversations or text messages as it may seem rude to the people you are supposed to be spending quality time with. Give the phone a break and live in the moment.
Avoid public displays of affection
While you both may be hot for each other, it is important that this is not displayed in his parents’ presence. A quick peck is OK but don’t let yourself be caught with his tongue down your throat. It’s just plain inappropriate.
Don’t be extra friendly to male family members
The last thing you need is unnecessary attention being drawn to yourself.
Don’t linger after dinner
After dinner is served, stay a little while and socialize but don’t linger for hours. Give them space to wrap up their family evening even if everything went well. Thank everyone for having you over and make a graceful exit.
