Why you may not be having the orgasms you want

MOST if not all women want to experience the big ‘O’, but unfortunately not every woman will have that pleasure. Obstetrician-gynaecologist Dr Anna-Kay Taylor Christmas said the orgasm is thought to be the ultimate goal of most people engaging in sexual activity, but sometimes attaining one can be quite difficult.

“There are several factors that can contribute to the inability to orgasm,” she said.

But she said surprisingly, there are some sexually active people who are uncertain of what an orgasm is or what it feels like, and so are unable to say definitively if they have ever had one.

She explained that during a sexual experience, women tend to pass through several phases, which may ultimately lead to an orgasm — the climax of the sexual response cycle.

The orgasm is the shortest of the phases, and generally lasts only a few seconds. It is characterised by involuntary muscle contractions with increased heart rate and breathing, and a sudden forceful release of sexual tension.

Sexual functioning in women, according to Dr Taylor Christmas, is dependent on the interaction of mind and body, psychosocial factors and overall health, which are important determinants of healthy functioning.

Some of the factors that can affect your ability to orgasm include:

Inadequate stimulation

Dr Taylor Christmas said an orgasm can be achieved by women through different sensory mechanisms, but the two most important are stimulation of the vulva (the clitoris in particular) and the surrounding skin as well as internal stimulation of the pelvic area and the vaginal walls. “Penetration alone is rarely sufficient for orgasm in females,” she said.

Chronic illnesses

“Diabetes or neurological disorders, usually when poorly controlled, can affect a woman’s ability to orgasm,” she said.

Psychological issues

The ObGyn said having a past history of sexual abuse or assault or extreme guilt associated with enjoying sexual activity can also affect your ability to orgasm.

She said other factors include pelvic or vaginal infection, which might make sex painful; embarrassment or shyness; performance anxiety; certain medications, including those for depression; menopause; and relationship issues such as unresolved conflicts or lack of trust and stress.

She said if you have been able to have an orgasm, and are suddenly now unable to orgasm, or orgasm much less frequently than you desire, ensure that you see a gynaecologist for a full examination, as treatment plans are available.

“The cause can then be determined and a treatment plan initiated. Do not continue to suffer in silence,” she said.

— Kimberley Hibbert