Why bother? When you shouldn’t work on your relationship
MANY people will endure toxic relationships for years, some guided by principles like their religion that encourage them that all relationships can be saved, and a love covenant endures until death.
But being hurt, lied to and mistreated continuously can lead to frustration, and Anthony L Gordon, certified family educator/counsellor of Family Relational Health Services, said though a relationship is a life investment, there are some instances in which one partner has grown so frustrated by the actions of the other that they no longer have an interest in forgiveness or working on the relationship.
He shared a few of these instances:
1. Disrespect
A healthy relationship between an adult male and female ought to be built on mutual respect, trust and value of each other’s individuality. If one partner constantly stomps on the values that the other has and shows utter disregard for their feelings, then if they are unwilling to change, it may not be worth working on the union.
2. They see nothing wrong with betrayal
Your partner has lied, cheated or broken your trust in several ways but never seems to care about how this affects you, or they behave as though they did nothing wrong.
If your partner is unrepentant in their betrayal and insensitive to your feelings of hurt; tries to justify their actions or even worse, tries to force you to accept it, then you may want to decide against trying to work things out with them.
3. He impregnated another woman
Finding out that your significant other has impregnated someone else can be emotionally very draining. While everybody does not think this warrants an automatic decision to end their relationship, some women would have to sacrifice their happiness in order to stay in the relationship and cope with another woman and child being very much a part of their relationship. This is not something you want to force yourself to manage.
4. You’re being forced to accept unfaithfulness
Your partner wants to impose on you their desire for going outside the union. In other words, they don’t care that you know that they have another partner, they just want you to accept that this is how it will be. You might want to take these as tell-tale signs of what is likely to come in the future.
5. There is constant abuse
There is absolutely no room for abuse of any kind in a relationship. No woman or man should allow their partner to beat up on them and belittle them in any way, shape or form.
6. A constant need of forgiveness
There will be a time when ‘sorry’ just does not cut it. If your partner is obviously not learning, they are probably not genuinely sorry. When there is a clear cycle of abuse and make-up becoming the pattern, it is time to rethink the relationship, and sensibly question, why bother?
