How to build an open and honest relationship
‘Honesty is the best policy’ — this is the phrase that has been drummed into our heads since we were children. However, as we grow older, some of us struggle with being honest, and losing a partner’s trust can lead to a breakdown in our relationships.
The absence of honesty in a relationship can be compared to a weakened immune system; the relationship is now vulnerable to all sorts of infections such as a lack of trust and feelings of betrayal. It is often said that once trust is gone out of a relationship it becomes an empty shell and once it gets to that point there really is no sense in holding on.
“A relationship should be a mutually satisfying experience and should provide a sense of emotional security and stability,” says counsellor Wayne Powell. “When there are breaches in the relationship that threaten your emotional well-being, some critical examination must be made followed by decisive action.”
For some, letting go is not an option, as they believe they can salvage what is left of the relationship. No one really wants to walk away from years invested in a union. But many are unsure about how to go about working on the issue of honesty.
If you are trying to build/re-build honesty in your relationship here are a few ideas you can try:
• Be honest about the small things.
• Have complete belief in each other.
• Don’t lie.
• Confess your mistakes right away and offer solutions.
• Make your actions match your words.
• Let your partner feel free to express themselves.
• Be open to feedback.
• Communicate.
• Share your secrets.
• Don’t say anything that might stir up their insecurities.
• Don’t be judgemental.
• Be sincere about your reactions.
• Accept your partner as a separate person.
If none of these ideas work for you, then try counselling. Make an appointment with your pastor or any other person you might feel comfortable with talking to about your relationship.
