Should you let your man remain friends with his ex?

You are now in a relationship with the new man in your life; you have grown to love him and he has grown to love you. You have accepted him with all his flaws, you have embraced his family, even his crazy weedhead cousin who is always begging you money at his family gatherings. But can you also accept him being friends with his ex, a woman he broke up with years ago, a woman he has told you time and again that he is over?

What if all that settles in your mind is how much she makes him laugh when she calls? What if you can’t get the thought of their past out of your head and how easy it would be for her to win him over again if she wanted, because they are still friends? What if you try to be friends with her but struggle with the concept because you see her as a threat not just to your relationship but also your sanity?

But if you keep playing Nancy Drew to a situation that doesn’t exist, you might have him running to his ex for comfort.

“Obsessing over imaginary scenarios can ruin what may be an otherwise healthy relationship,” says counsellor David Anderson.

He advises that if there is no evidence that things are not totally innocent, you should relax and not stir up trouble.

Let him know you trust him enough to be around his ex because you are confident in his love for you and the respect he has for your relationship.