Alysia Moulton White – After 3 miscarriages, moving forward in faith

HER powerful and moving story had tears rolling down the cheeks of the women who filled the room at the Cortia Bingham curated event, We Inspire Women, held as a brunch on January 17 at the Holiday Inn Hotel.

Alysia Moulton White, who was among a panel of four women who shared their stories of trials and triumphs, captivated the audience of almost 200 women from across the island who came out to be inspired and motivated.

White opened up about a dark time in her life, recounting her traumatic experiences of having had three miscarriages over several years; but even amidst sharing her pain, the now mother of three girls radiated hope in her message, sharing with the audience that it was her faith that kept her going, along with the support of her husband of 10 years and her closest family and friends.

“I often felt so alone, even when I was surrounded by friends and family, because that kind of pain is so personal. Only the person going through it can really understand,” she shared.

“It is an extremely rough journey, and especially with my first pregnancy, as I had so many expectations,” she said.

Currently the assistant vice- president of group marketing at Sagicor Group Jamaica, White got married in 2008 at the age of 28 and within six months she and her husband Odean were expecting their first child.

The couple’s enthusiasm for the arrival of their bundle of joy was, however, sadly short-lived after the doctor delivered the devastating news that there was no heartbeat following the first ultrasound of what was estimated to have been the two months’ stage of pregnancy. As part of her healing process, White named the baby Destiny.

With the audience fully engaged and enthralled by her story, she relayed the joy of her second pregnancy which saw the birth of her first child in 2010 — Amaris, her name meaning “Promised by God”. She beamed with joy and pride as she spoke of her daughter, jokingly adding how dramatically Amaris had entered the world.

The tragedy of loss was, however, far from over, as White experienced her second and third miscarriages within the space of four years, as she and her husband looked to expand their family. Her third pregnancy resulted in the second miscarriage; however with a winning spirit, she did not give up and less than two years later her fourth pregnancy produced another baby girl in 2014 — Nyla — which fittingly means “Champion” or “Winner”.

As she fought back tears, White shared the painful experience of her third miscarriage, which was her fifth pregnancy. She was six months pregnant and all seemed well, until one day at work she did not feel her baby moving. She said at first she didn’t panic, instead she just went and had something to eat, hoping that would get the baby excited and moving as usual, but that didn’t work and an all too familiar feeling of fear gripped her.

At her doctor’s office, her worst fears were confirmed — her baby had died. She described having to go through labour for 36 hours to deliver her dead baby. In choosing to “release” her pain, she named her baby girl Faith Hope.

“I remember playing this one song over and over again during that 36-hour ordeal — Hosanna in the Highest by Israel Houghton — it was the song that kept me going. It was only the grace and love of God that kept me,” she shared.

White and her husband are Christians and ministers at Church on the Rock in St Andrew.

She beamed with pride as she shared that her greatest joy and blessing are her family. White had her third child last May, a third girl, named Eden, which means “Delight”.

With three miscarriages and three beautiful birthed children, White told the room of women that had she not made a decision to ‘release’ her children into the care of God, she would not have been able to freely embrace Amaris, Nyla and Eden and be renewed in the process.

Her message was one of encouragement, renewal, faith, hope and love…that despite your circumstances, whatever your ultimate destiny, you will receive it once you choose to (1) “exhale” (ie, let go, release, forgive those who hurt you), (2) go diligently through the steps of your healing process and then (3) “inhale” (ie, embrace that which comes when you are being renewed) and choose to move forward in faith.