Dating safety online

A few weeks ago, a 22-year-old Montego Bay man took to social media to urge Jamaicans to be on the alert when engaging in activities on social media after he was duped and mugged when he met up with an online friend.

The man first wrote in a Twitter post that he had been robbed and assaulted in the Retirement area of St James, resulting in scores of social media users commiserating with him.

“It’s because of the Internet, and me being naïve, why this happened to me. So basically, I want to use this as a message to let the young people, and people on a whole, know that you can’t just meet someone online and think it is safe to physically meet them. Everyone is not who they appear to be, so I just want people to be careful,” the man said.

As online dating continues to grow in popularity, more people are looking to social media and dating sites to find love. It’s convenient, much easier and well, faster, to find people you may be interested in

And it may seem harmless to many people — you have control over who you choose to hook up with, they usually share a profile detailing their characteristics, likes, dislikes, etcetera, and even more important, for most people there are pictures.

And all this sounds great, except for one thing — the fact that all this could be cooked up and the picture they share could be of someone else.

So how do you safeguard yourself when dating online?

Choose online dating sites carefully

If you intend to explore the possibilities of finding love through online dating then you must first, for your safety, choose the sites that you will join safely. For example, you want a site that allows you to control certain things such as who can see certain information, and one that allows you to block or reject the requests of suitors without them being notified.

Meet up in public

Chances are, if your date had evil intentions, meeting in a public space may curb this. This will also give you peace of mind if the date isn’t going well or you are just not comfortable. He is less likely to try anything when surrounded by people.

Share details with a trusted friend/family member

It’s good to be private, but you may not want to be stingy with information when going on a date with a stranger. So information like your date’s name, where you will be going, and what time to expect you back are important. If you are sharing a cab or are driving together, take down details like the licence plate number and if you can get a picture do that and share it with a trusted friend or family member.

Keep some personal information private

It might be tempting to share everything with your date especially if you like him/her. But hold your horses. If things go well, there will be plenty of time to share everything. So, for example, unless you must, don’t give out your home address. Also, say what you like to do without telling him the places you frequent, location of family members, how much you earn, etc.

Keep an eye on your food

If your date involves food, whether it’s a formal sit down or you are grabbing food on the road for a picnic, be very observant with how your date handles food that you will consume. You also want to make sure that you do not excuse yourself from the table leaving an open meal and drink and only accept food or drinks that were served or poured in your presence. A date with an ill-intention may spike your food or drink with drugs so that he/she can take advantage of you.

Drink moderately

If things are going well and perhaps as your date chats you up, you may find yourself gulping down more wine than you would usually. It’s important that when on dates you avoid doing this. You want to remain sober because unfortunately, while you may be convinced there is chemistry and your date seems like a total sweetheart, the truth is your date may not have the best intentions. So, to keep safe, don’t overindulge. A glass of wine or two should be good.

Listen keenly

It’s tempting, especially when you really like the person, to let your guard down even before you meet them. But scepticism at the dating stage is crucial — you want to be able to spot inconsistencies in what was shared. One way to achieve this is to ask the same question in different ways or over a period of time and note and compare responses. You want someone you can trust. If they are telling lies at the start, you don’t know what their true intentions are, and secondly, they are likely to follow their pattern of lies.

A bonus tip is to always make sure you are prepared to defend yourself. If you flunked your karate classes, pepper spray is a good defence tool. Make sure that there is always someone’s number on speed dial just in case the date does not turn out to be what was promised.