LOVE UNDER LOCKDOWN: …Might as well consider them essential workers

FOR the most part, most men can’t say that they’re working late anymore, or that they’re going to the pub, or that they’ll be hanging out with the boys, because that excuse died with whatever social life Jamaicans had before the lockdown.

But no one can beat the ingenuity of men like the ones below, who say that while some men and women can work remotely, their affairs cannot. Even while spending most of their time at home, it is imperative that the side pieces do not get iced out because of isolation. These creative cheats explain that it’s just a matter of getting more creative. After all… their service is essential.

Neil, 39, trainer:

I’m not sure what I will say to leave home yet because it will come in the moment. But I have been booked for more home training sessions since the gym closed. I wouldn’t be lying if I said I have an extra workout session. If I need more time I guess I could ‘visit’ my relatives in country to make sure they are holding up.

Aundre, 28, stockbroker:

I’m gonna get supplies, gonna visit a relative who needs help… I’m going to the garage.

Dominic, 32, welder:

Cheating men are considered essential workers. Their companies will still need them.

Henry, 27, construction worker:

I have a construction company so my wife knows I’m a small business owner, and thus an essential worker. I haven’t stayed home one day since the isolation because I’m “working” on a new project.

Louis, 44, taxi driver:

In my line of work you know how the thing set. Lockdown or quarantine, the work must go on, and none of my babymothers will feel left out.