Keep COVID-19 from destroying your relationship
HOW do you avoid conflict with a spouse when sharing the same space 24/7? It’s in these hours that you’ll realise your differences, and issues such as job loss, gender role expectations and childcare challenges can determine whether a couple sinks or swims. While being confined to one space because of COVID-19 will be the biggest challenge some couples will have to face, others who have been through the fire advise that there are ways to get through such a challenge, as with others that will come.
Here are some tips for avoiding the big D, from couples who have themselves been through grave challenges.
Anya and Timothy, married 13 years
Conflict they’ve overcome: Timothy fathered a child during the marriage.
“We learned early that collaboration is the most important thing when it comes to avoiding conflicts and breakdowns. Also important is arguing it out, and then coming to a solution,” the couple shared.
“The latter is of utmost importance. Don’t just argue and then leave the wounds open. Arrive at a solution — an endpoint — and then work from that point. Come together after the argument as a cohesive unit, and it can work.”
Peter and Jamelia, cohabiting five years
Challenge they’ve overcome: Jamelia’s poor money management skills have put the couple in millions of dollars in debt to small loans companies
“I cannot emphasise enough the importance of talking to each other, and talking about what the new changes mean for your life and your relationship,” Peter said.
Added Jamelia: “Talk about what is realistically possible with all the tasks you have to get done, and what are not. The important thing is constant communication.”
Howard and Chantal, married 19 years
Challenge they’ve overcome: Howard was on an overseas work programme for years, and returned home injured and unable to work.
“Admit that the rules and routines will have to be adjusted, and work with those as best as possible. We learned to take external help when we needed it, and to reach out to people who have been in similar situations. Sometimes it’s in talking about the issues that you’ll realise they’re not so grave after all,” the couple shared.
“And look after your mental health, along with everything else.”
