Never getting over you…
REMEMBER that person you thought you’d never get over? The person who, when it ended, the heartbreak was so great that you thought you’d surely die if you weren’t together? Was it a person for whom you dropped everything to save the relationship — your pride, decency, and common sense? How did that work out for you?
How do you feel about that person you thought you’d never get over?
Paula, 38:
It’s rather embarrassing when I think about the lengths I went to, to keep this guy. He was breaking up with me after a year together, and truth be told, I had gotten involved with him after a long relationship, so he was the rebound guy. That didn’t change the fact that I got attached, and when he ended things because he was moving away, I basically went crazy. I lied and told him I was pregnant, which was easy enough to do because he had left for school overseas. Then I came up with this elaborate plan, faked a whole pregnancy, and then told him I had given the child up for adoption, all in an effort to hurt him so much that he’d come back to me. I don’t even know why I continued, because even with me saying all that, he didn’t care at all. It’s been 12 years, we’re still friends on Facebook, and I cringe each time I think about it, because he was a good friend, and I would want to be his friend again, but how do I explain the missing child?
Tanisha, 33:
I was 17 when I met him, and to this day, looking back, I can’t understand what I saw in him. But I did everything to be with him, including lying to my parents, cursing out other girls for him, and then when my parents found out the extent of our relationship, I left home and moved in with him and his parents. And we hit the party scene together — him the budding DJ, and me, his groupie. I was truly, madly, deeply in love, and he said he felt the same — that is, until another girl turned up at the house pregnant, and my dolly house crashed down. I eventually went back home to my parents. I’m now married, and he’s still doing the party scene and is now a father of many. Looking back, I wonder what the heck I was thinking almost ruining my life for a womaniser.
Kevin, 40:
I feel the same way now that I felt 20 years ago — she was the one who got away. I let my parents convince me that we were not compatible, even though she was the face I woke up seeing, and the one I went to bed thinking about. When my parents met her, immediately they said no, and that put seeds of doubt in my head. We went to different churches, and crazily enough, that was the extent of their dissatisfaction. Before that we were always together, always on the same page, making big plans for our future. But when my parents intervened, I found every reason to push her away. My parents are now gone, and my girl is married to someone else, and happy. If I had another shot I would never have let other people’s opinions dictate my life.
Latoya, 44:
I feel annoyed that I didn’t listen to people who were more sensible, because I’m in a position now where it’s not like I can even look at the past and forget it, because I have two children to remind me of my mistake — and they are the spitting image of him! I was in love with a man who was married, and who convinced me that it was a marriage of convenience. Two children back-to-back later, I was still trying to convince him to file for divorce, when his wife came back to Jamaica and promptly evicted me from her house. And even after she showed me evidence that he was lying about the relationship he had with her, I was still stupid and stayed with him for a few more years. I loved him so much that I couldn’t love myself. It was after he migrated and cut off me and the kids that I came to my senses. Today the man I loved is now my archnemesis in court, who I’m fighting for child support, and hate worse than the devil.
Nicole, 46:
This was my husband, so in a sense I was justified because we made a vow before God. At least that’s how I reassure myself when I remember and cringe. He was my first everything also, and I was very, very sheltered, so also keep that in mind. We had been married for ten years when my husband started “working late”, and some days he wouldn’t come home for days at a time. He does site work, so I believed the work story for a while, until one day I found woman’s clothing in his truck. When I confronted him, he confessed that not only was he cheating, he had a whole baby with the woman, and another one on the way. So hearing that, what did I do? I told him he wasn’t leaving me, that our vows said till death, and neither of us was leaving until one of us died. And then I had him drive me to the woman’s house and I stood at her doorway and cursed her rotten, so all her neighbours heard. I told her that if she came near my husband again, I would pray to God to smite her and curse her generations to come. But guess what? He stayed with me for a while, but eventually left, not for her, but for another woman. When I look back on how I acted, shame washes over me, and I have to remind myself that it was a dark period for me, and I was justified, even though that loser wasn’t even worth it.
