Ambitions over romantic relationships

ONE of the drawbacks of being a career woman is that oftentimes the woman has to choose what aspect of her life will be sacrificed for the amount of time and effort she will throw into her career, and many times it’s her romantic relationships that suffer. Some women try to juggle the two, and are somewhat successful at it; others realise when something has to give. What happens when women choose their ambitions over their romantic relationships?

“It’s a choice that many women don’t enter into blindly — they realise that in the quest to climb the career ladder, some people will have to be sacrificed,” said Abigail Lennox, who has built a real estate company from the ground up over several decades. “If you’re a woman who is serious about gaining wealth and playing with the big boys, sometimes you have to make what may be some uncomfortable decisions.”

We asked some women who chose their ambitions over romantic relationships how they’ve fared, and this is what they said.

I lost out on love

Barbara, a 52-year-old insurance broker, says she lost out on marriage and children because she was too busy.

“I was with someone but at the time that he wanted to settle down I was just starting my career and I wasn’t willing to cut back on my hours,” she shared.

Her partner eventually moved on, and some years later, got married and had children with another woman.

“He was more compatible with her anyway,” Barbara said. “Sometimes I look back on what could have been, but overall, even though I lost out on love, I’m happy with my life, my animals and my plants.”

I lucked out

“We were together in college and we almost got married right after, but my father spoke to me and told me to wait a little,” Elizabeth, a 40-year-old lecturer said. “And I lucked out when I made that decision, because after we broke up I was able to travel, work abroad for a bit, then come back home. I’m now doing my own thing and my ex is a father of five, so I would say that I’m the lucky one who wasn’t stuck at home being a broodmare.”

I’m helping people

Nyasha, a 41-year-old registered nurse, said she is doing exactly what she always wanted to do — help people. “I work in the ER so you can imagine how hectic that gets. There’s really no time for family life and love and all that — my whole life is one big adrenaline rush.”

She said she doesn’t regret not getting attached to any man through marriage, as, “when I want love, I find love, and afterwards I send them home.”

Hoping for a second run

“It’s never too late for second chances,” Veronica, a 50-year-old educator, said. Having spent years building her school and ensuring its success, when her partner at the time proposed decades ago, she wasn’t ready. Now that she is almost at retirement age, she is hoping that her golden years will see her finding love. “I may have lost my chance at true love and happiness years ago, but wah nuh dead nuh dash weh.”

Helping other people’s children

She may have missed out on having her own children because she waited too long, but regret isn’t a word in Antoinette’s dictionary. The 45-year-old marketing manager says she finds solace in raising her nieces and nephews.

“I never wanted to get married when I was younger as I spent many hours at the office building my brand, and then by the time I got married, it was too risky to have children. So I compensate by spending my time and resources on the children in my family and my community who need help.”