‘I don’t have time for a man!’
“I don’t have time for that”. The single woman will say it often enough — to her friends, family and colleagues when they question the absence of a man in her life. But often, the response goes deeper than the obvious inference that she’s busy. What do women really mean when they say they don’t have time for a man?
“It depends on who the woman is and what stage she’s at in her life, her career, her journey,” said relationship and life coach Elizabeth Davis. “For different women this statement can mean entirely different things, and you’d be surprised to know the gamut of expression behind that one line.”
It can mean:
She’s too busy
“I don’t have time for a man because frankly, I’m too busy,” said Ketania, a content manager. “Between meeting targets, making deadlines, meetings and just being around the computer 24/7, I just can’t figure out where a man would fit into my life.”
She said when she does have downtime — “I don’t want to be around anybody; I just want to sleep and catch up on my Netflix series.”
She doesn’t like the responsibility
“I’ve found that having a man is like having a child, and I don’t even like children that much,” says Laurie, court reporter and mother of one. “When I was married it was a constant cycle of housework, meeting the man’s needs, meeting the baby’s needs, more housework again, and then work. And even though this job is monotonous, it’s better than the monotony of what my life was. I didn’t need to feel like I was taking care of two children, or being made to feel obligated to provide sex or even conversation on demand. I’m glad I’m out of that, and I can say I don’t need a man, because that’s too much baggage.”
She likes her own space
“Even though I do have time for a man and a relationship, I cringe at the thought of sharing my space with someone else,” said Aiesha, an enrolment nurse. “I’m a germaphobe and slightly OCD, so I can’t deal with the toothpaste in the sink, the hair in the bathtub, or the weird smells that men come with. I can’t bear to hear the smacking sounds they make when they eat, or see the way they scratch, or sweat, or frowsy up the house…so yes, I’ll stay by myself.”
She’s independent
“Perish the thought of me depending on a man for anything, or him believing that we have a half-half partnership,” said Sonya, a medical officer. “I don’t want to share or struggle or beg, or live with any kind of expectations that I’m supposed to honour you or that you’re my king, or some nonsense, so really, I don’t have time for men.”
She doesn’t have time for you
“I’m in fact searching for my husband, so if I say I don’t have time for a man, I mean I don’t have time for you, not every man, just you,” said Ornella, a hairstylist. “I’m too mature to be weeding through bad partners to try to find the good one. If you slip once, you slide and I’ll move to the next target.“
