MEN’S MONTH FEATURE Men speak: Our greatest insecurities
THOUGH it’s not something that is openly discussed in our culture, men struggle with insecurities too. Herteronormative ideals force men to be tough — so tough that any admissions of feelings of inadequacy or vulnerability are deemed weak, feminine even.
But as we continue to empower our men throughout the month, ahead of International Men’s Day next week, we encourage them to speak up, because we understand that they have valid feelings — and we care, and we are listening.
All Woman asked some of our brothers, fathers, husbands and uncles to share what they are most insecure about. Their responses might surprise you:
Paul, 35, technician:
I guess I would say my weight, if anything. I used to be much leaner back when I used to work out, but since becoming a dad, and especially since COVID-19, I’ve really let myself go, especially the belly. But the wife isn’t complaining as yet so I still have some time to work on it.
Desmork, 29, financial advisor:
I’m not insecure about my appearance at all. I’m a good looking guy if I say so myself. My insecurities lie in my ability to earn and provide for my family. I tend to be more tense, even withdrawn, when I know funds are running low. I don’t want them to ever need anything that I can’t provide.
Wayne, 47, contractor:
I’m a bit insecure about my hairline. I started thinning and receding when I was in my late 20s, so since I turned 30 I just keep it bald. I used to be insecure about my height, too, because I’m just 5”7, but not so much anymore. You know what they say about small axes.
Chris, 38, entrepreneur:
My body mass, my height, and my earning potential. I’m not so lean, not so tall, and not so bright. I stopped going to school after sixth form because I didn’t want to take a loan to pay for university. Although I have made a decent living for myself with my business, I think I need a degree, just in case, because any card can play.
Mikey, 40, taxi operator:
I’m not insecure about anything, but I would feel bad if my girl left me, or gi weh di ting. She is a really good girl and I really rate her, but sometimes I feel guilty in myself because I have to work ’round the clock now, and I am hardly at home. Sometimes she will call me and tell me to come home, but I have to work, and she thinks I am looking other woman on the road.
Peter, 62, retired soldier:
At this point in my life I reckon it’s too late to be insecure about anything, but I imagine there will come a day where I begin to lose strength in certain limbs. I hope that day isn’t anytime soon, if it ever comes.
Smith, 34, attorney:
There are no pervasive and longstanding insecurities for me, but from time to time some things cross my mind, as I am sure is the same for other men. I wonder if I ‘measure up’ to past lovers that my spouse has had, and if I am pleasing her enough. I sometimes question how good of a man I am to her, and how good of a father I am to my daughter, among other things.
