What topic do you absolutely avoid during family get-togethers?

FAMILY reunions are the best fun — there’s always that drunk uncle being inappropriate, grandma who can’t hold her tongue especially after sipping on the rum, and the family members who are just there for show; they didn’t want to come, but felt they had to, because it’s expected. These get-togethers usually happen at Christmas, weddings or funerals, and while for many they get underway with just a few hitches, others are the source of either great fun, or great cringe, depending on what is revealed.

Because no family is absolutely upstanding or decent or ‘normal’; the term ‘skeletons in the closet’ was invented for a reason, and for many people, these skeletons took root through family experiences. What discussion do you absolutely avoid having during your family get-togethers?

Amerie, writer, 40:

We don’t talk about how my cousin’s ex molested his daughter, and how his entire family, and my cousin, knew, and protected him from prosecution. This happened over 20 years ago, and they just sent the child to live with other family members, while pretending that nothing happened. They’re now divorced and the child died in an accident overseas. He’s out of our lives, but to know that he got away with it still haunts me, and one day I will write our story in a book.

Shan, teacher’s assistant, 24:

My sister-in-law’s child is not my brother’s and we all know it, but I don’t think he does, or he doesn’t care. The child looks just like her bio dad, so family pictures are always interesting. All of us have a certain look, so we can’t hide, as we all got a certain feature that’s the family line. It’s not a big deal though as the child is very sweet, so we just accept it and don’t talk about it.

Princess, farmer, 48:

My brother was killed while committing a crime with a group of other criminals and we know he was a bad seed, but he died leaving three sons, so the family story is that he was robbed and killed. We don’t want the children to think that their father was a bad man, so we just say that he was robbed and killed. We never speak badly of him, in fact, we only share the good memories with his children, so they will grow up good. No one is allowed to tell the truth at any family gathering.

Peter-Ann, seamstress, 39:

My grandmother is very classist and colourist, and no one in the family has been able to bring any dark-skinned partners around her, because she can’t control her mouth. So we tell people that she has Tourette’s and dementia, and is crazy and can’t help what she says. So when she’s rude to people we just pretend that she’s nuts, or try to ignore it, but she knows what she’s doing and nobody’s brave enough to confront her about it, or talk about why colour and class are so important to her, and some other family members.

Ammoy, enrol nurse, 35:

My younger cousin is in a small island dancing go-go, but her mother thinks she’s working in the hospital there. She got the same training I did, but there’s more money doing what she does, so she’s not doing nursing at all. But we haven’t told my aunt at all, because she would die. When we have family gatherings we just act like she’s a successful nurse, so my aunt doesn’t feel bad. Sometimes she even Skypes us in a nurse’s uniform to spread the lie further to my poor old aunt.